Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dark Chocolate M&Ms

I find it interesting that no matter how old I get, how far I've come, or how mature I think I've gotten, when I'm with old friends...I revert back to how I was when I was originally with them. I don't know why that is. It might be that they've labelled me as a certain way and won't let me change into anything better. It might be that I feel comfortable with them to show that horrible side of me. And it might be that they know me so well that they are able to tell stories and push my buttons to get me to react in a certain way. I think it is all three of those theories. It is frustrating to me though. In my mind I've progressed so far since I was an immature, petty, bitter 20 year old. I don't consider myself a bitter person, but my friends from back then will always see me that way. And after spending an evening with them, they bring it out in me. I wish I could be better than that. My friends once told me that I was like a dark chocolate M&M (this was before they actually existed) because I was sweet on the outside and bitter in the inside. I'm not proud of who I was and have worked very hard to try to be better. I just want to others to let go of that old Marie as well.
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4 comments:

  1. dubbyFebruary 19, 2009 at 5:59 PM

    Funny you should say that. I was an "untouchable" in high school but have done fine since. But when I went back to my high school reunion, they still wanted to make me an "untouchable" and the dorks who were "cool" wanted to be cool again. But they were so lame. I won't go to another reunion. I really don't want to relive that nightmare. And for the record, I LOVE dark chocolate M&Ms. They are the best kind.

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  2. MJFebruary 20, 2009 at 10:57 AM

    I never thought of you as petty and immature. A little bitter, maybe, but that's what age we were at. It's normal, and not permanent. Be proud to have been a dark chocolate m&m. It means you're real, not fake, and I've always appreciated that about you.

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  3. CortneyFebruary 20, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    Maybe I knew you during the good years...cuz I don't remember any bitterness, pettiness, or immaturity. In fact you were so mature they let you come to the singles ward early!!! Remember how your YW leaders hated that!! You'll always be my musketeer!!!

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  4. Dylan, Holly, and AspenMarch 13, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    Marie, I remember when that joke came about, but to be honest, since those young days when we were all immature and petty, you have come such a long way. You seriously amaze me, I think you are one of the nicest sweetest and most positive people I have ever had the pleasure to get to know. My favorite m&m's are peanut m&m's and too me you are a peanut m&m. Sweet on the outside and a little nutty on the inside, but that is the way I like you. I miss you, and I know my whole family does. We need to get together sometime again. Take care.
    Dylan

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