He Must Kill Spiders

It's days like today that make me wish I was married so I could work side by side with my husband doing the landscaping.  I love to work in the yard.  It is very rewarding work.  But my task today was passed my skill level.  I'm reclaiming the front flower bed from the wild grass to plant some lilies I bought.  But like all things in life, I never just do the task I set out for.  It opens up so many other things that need to be done, and if I'm going to do it...I want to do it right. This summarizes my train of thoughts:  Project #1: weeding the flower bed.  Project #2: replacing the wood that is the perimeter of the flower bed. Project #3: weed the wood chip area between the flower bed and the house (and remove useless broken cinder blocks. Project #4: seeing that the leaky faucet has turned the wood chip area into a disgusting marshland, think about replacing all the wood chips.  Project #5: seeing that the wood chip area is on top of a tarp like thing, realize I need to replace the tarp.  Project #6: drudge up all the marshland, wood chips, and tarp and start over...all over.  But what kind of tarp do I use?  How much are wood chips?  Why won't the faucet STOP running? Why does it insist on starting to rain?  Why do there have to be so many bugs in this area? Why am I so deathly afraid of spiders?  Why did God make RED spiders? Centipedes still exist? Why is this honey bee insisting on hanging out by the faucet and chasing me? How many times must I scream and run away from the flower bed like a crazy woman?  Why does this take so long to do?  Why am I the only one that cares?  Why don't I ask the landlord to help me and pay for it?  Why didn't I think of that earlier?  Why can't I do this on my own?

But the reality was...I couldn't do it alone.  The job is left undone.  Partially because I didn't want to spend all the money for materials, partially because I didn't know what I was doing and was afraid I would do it wrong, and partially because I was so terrified of what lurked in that wood chip marshland.  Worms = fine, potato bugs = no problem, red spiders = AHHHHH...pause, squirm, hit it with the shovel. Giant white spider = scream, start crying a little, squirm, then hopefully kill it when I keep stabbing that area of the ground with the shovel.  I'm going to have nightmares tonight.  I just want a guy that will kill spiders for me.  I don't care if he likes dogs or cats or whatever...he must kill spiders!